Posts tagged ‘Ben Gordon’

Wow. If there was any question to how devoted to Chicago sports Derrick Rose is, the question has been answered. In all caps. And with misspellings. D-Rose put Kerry Wood’s hot tub injury to shame in one fell slice on Monday. It’s a shame that we can’t hear the trash talk that the lauded Bulls guard will hear starting later tonight.

Here are a few guesses at some of the on-court banter:

How bout’ dem apples!?! — opposing guard, after making a 3-point play after a weak foul by Aaron Gray

Hey Martha Stewart…(trails off) — Charles Barkley, en route to making a point about turnovers

Welcome to the Jungle of Fun. Please remove your shoes. — Judd Buechler

A knife! In the bed! What were you thinking! — Reggie Miller

‘Now it cuts like a knife…but it feels so right’ — jukebox at bowling alley

Can I get a witnesssss! — Rev. Jeremiah Wright

Can I get a witnesssss! — Larry Hughes

Who will I pretend to want to pass the ball to after dribbling 20 seconds off the shot clock? Heal up, son. In the meantime, did I say you guys could stop counting my money? Count it! Count it up! — Ben Gordon

Go Bulls, and Go Bizarre Injuries!

It has been almost a week since KG uncontrollably roared like an “I Am Legend” alpha male zombie into Michele Tafoya’s post-game microphone. The Boston Celtics capped an historic turnaround season by hoisting the trophy. They shattered the NBA record for best single-season turnaround, catapulting from 24 wins one year to 66 wins the next, a 42-game swing.

So, am I, a die-hard fan of a pathetic Bulls team that won 16 FEWER games than the season prior, a bit envious of the Celtic’s historic rise? No. Actually, just the opposite…I’m relieved NOT to be a part of it! You see, it is no mystery how the Celts elevated from forgotten bottom-dweller to SportsCenter darling…they bought it.

Alright, maybe technically-speaking they didn’t “buy it,” but it certainly feels that way. Garnett and Allen, two-thirds of the “Big Three,” were added this season via Blockbuster Trade and P.J. Brown, Sam Cassell, Eddie House, and James Posey were all signed this season for this specific title run. Sure, you can defend the acquisitions by crediting Danny Ainge as a masterful GM, but that is the same logic New Yorkers use to defend the world series rings purchased by the free-spending Yankees.

Call me crazy, old-fashioned, or naïve, but I’m glad Paxson did not sell our homegrown players for all-stars like K.G., Kobe, or Gasol. Doing so would be pretty much equivalent to Rhys Ifans, the potbellied, snaggle-toothed Welsh actor, undergoing full-body cosmetic surgery in a quest to knock Matt Damon off the “People’s Sexiest Man” throne. (Ifans is pictured here prancing around half-naked in the film Notting Hill. Unsightly.)

You see, as diehard Bulls fans, we don’t merely root for red jerseys; we become invested in and cheer for the players themselves. I’m proud that Deng, Noah, Hinrich, Gordon, Thabo, Nocioni, and (soon) Rose are all homegrown drafted Bulls. They may need a tuck or a lift here and there, but definitely not an extreme makeover. Eventually, when they win their title, Bulls fans will find it infinitely sweeter and more rewarding because we will have watched them grow and persevered with them through the most trying of times.

After all, that Welsh actor, he opted NOT to “purchase” George Clooney-like looks…and now he’s dating Sienna Miller! There is hope Bulls fans.